But what if I DON’T want to trust God right now?

I’m in the middle of a hard season currently. It’s good and growing and full of healing…but it’s also painful and difficult and simply not fun at times. 

As this new semester starts, I’ve prayed a lot into it and asked what God has for me in the next few months. 

One of the main themes I’ve heard God say is that it’s time for me to “come out of hiding”. I feel this calling up and calling out within my soul. It’s time to be seen and known and be proud of the unique person God created me to be. It’s time to walk into greatness. 

It all sounds great, but I know it’s not going to be easy. And I still have some wounds from my past and lies about myself that I wrestle with that are going to need to finally be defeated as I move forward. 

Right now, I look at these new few months and all I see is this giant, looming mountain in front of me. I look to God and ask, “Really? I’m supposed to scale that?” And He answers simply, “Take My hand and come with Me.”

Everything inside of me screams at me to run the opposite direction. It’s too much. I can’t do it. It’s too scary. This is going to hurt. I’m not ready. 

God, are You sure this is what You have for me?

I’m struggling to trust God right now. I’m struggling A LOT. 

So what if I don’t want to trust God right now?

Well, I may not feel like trusting God; but in no way, shape, or form does that affect His character. 

I don’t want to trust Him.

God is trustworthy.

I don’t want to trust Him.

God is faithful to me.

I don’t want to trust Him.

God pours His love out on me.

I don’t want to trust Him.

God is patient and kind.

I don’t want to trust Him.

God pursues me and romances me.

I am struggling to trust God fully. But I am slowly learning to hand over my heart and my future to Him; to say “yes” to all that lies before me.

Most importantly, God remains steadfast and ever-faithful in His love for me during this process. It’s a love that brings hope to my heart. So that while everything may feel overwhelming, I know I’ll be okay because He’s never going to let me down.